Getting a Loved One to Undergo Alcohol Treatment

When a loved one is suffering because of alcohol, of course you will want to do what you can to help them recover. Remember that whilst you can offer help and support, you can't force them to undergo alcohol treatment if they're not ready.

Excuses

Many people who know someone who is dependent upon alcohol will make excuses for them and will step in when they get into alcohol-related problems. You must stop doing this so that your loved one appreciates the consequences of their actions. This won't be easy but remember why you are doing it in moments of weakness.

Timing

You need to talk to your loved one about potential alcohol treatment at the right time. Choose a time when you are both sober and calm – talking when they are drunk is unlikely to be productive. It may be useful to talk soon after an alcohol-related incident has taken place, such as a row, fall or injury. Your loved one may be thinking about their drinking and its results and be open to discussing changing their behaviour.

Clarity

Be clear about why you are worried about your loved one and how their behaviour is affecting you. Tell them why and how their behaviour upsets you and cite any specific incidents.

Support

Make it clear to your loved one that they will have your full support should they choose to undergo alcohol treatment. Collect information about the possible help and support available to them. If they agree, follow up quickly by making appointments and offering to attend with them if necessary.

Consequences

Your loved one needs to understand that there will be ramifications if they fail to modify their relationship with alcohol. Warning them of the consequences of if their behaviour continues is not about blackmail or imposing ultimatums, it's about protecting yourself. You may warn that you won't spend any time with your loved one when they've been drinking or even that you will end the relationship altogether or move out of the home you share. However, you must only warn of consequences that you're willing to go through with, otherwise your words will be hollow.

Take care of yourself  Whether your loved one agrees to undergo alcohol treatment or not, you need to protect yourself. It may benefit you to undergo treatment or therapy. Groups and support are available for the relatives and friends of people with alcohol problems.

About the Author

Wellington Lodge is an established not-for-profit specialist alcohol treatment provider. We offer triage, screening and rehabilitation at our comfortable in-patient facility at Wellington Lodge in North London. We also offer out-patient facilities at specialist clinics in Harley Street, London or at Queens Square in Bath, Somerset.